Scorecard

Stewkley CC v Olney Town Cricket Club Olney Town CC 2nd XI on Sat 16 May 2009 at 1:30pm
Olney Town Cricket Club Won by 9 wickets

Match report 2nd XI win two in a row as top order shine again to beat Stewkley by 9 wickets

'Not quite on the ball' would be a good way for describing Olney 2nd XI in the first third of this game. Maybe it was the wind, definitely a day for a down-wind third man and having to rope down the sightscreens to stop them squashing long-off. Fortunately Brad Billson was there for the toss, won it and put Stewkley into bat, meanwhile the rest of the team were touring around the Stoke Hammond bypass – allowing the person with the least local knowledge to lead the convoy – I'll blame it on TomTom. Things did not start well on a pitch that made up for what it lacked in pace and bounce with lush green grass and variable bounce. We did our best to allow Stewkley to get a total on what was a very green track, dropping their opening batsman four times before he was finally caught on 27 including two very school-boy drops from James and Hurley(J)… But excellent tight bowling from Ray Filip (10-3-10-2) and the extremely unfortunate Billson (10-0-36-0: wicket-less only because of the lacklustre fielding of his team mates) contained Stewkley and made run scoring very difficult. To hide Jonny Hurley in the field, he was brought on to bowl and started to make inroads into the Stewkley batting order returning (6-0-24-3). After a brief cameo, Garry 'take me off after three overs, especially if I take a wicket' Brown (3-0-21-1) was replaced by James who ended up with 9-1-31-3 who was actually smiling for the first time. Stewkley ended up 142 for 9, leaving us feeling that it was a gettable total but that we could have done better in the field for the first time this season.

A special mention to Jackass Jewson who was in fine form standing in behind the stumps, limiting byes to 8 when the ball was swinging at some pace and made Ian Healey look like a shy retiring keeper – thank goodness there was no stump-mic – if Sky were covering it, they would have turned it off. At one point I was questioned by the rather annoyed opposition captain as to whether our keeper 'was under instructions to comment after every ball?'… 'I'm sorry,' I replied, 'Instructions? You can give him all the instructions you like, but he's going to comment after every ball, we've tried'. That's our Jack, getting under the batsmen's skin and taking wickets for the bowlers.

Sitting at tea (good enough for me but reported as 'not like home teas'), I was wondering about what-on-earth I could write about, but fear-not the team obliged from then on, starting with Jewson's changing room observations on purple coloured head-protection, doing nothing to quash the rumours. As we turned around to begin our innings Gareth 'injured again' Kingston was still finishing his essay on Keats he started using as banter in the 42nd over of the Stewkley innings… Things were looking up for your reporter as Hurley and Harrison strode out to bat following some teatime rain.

It's at this point I must bring to your attention a scandal equivalent to that of recent exposés on MPs' expenses… Apparently, Gratson, realising that he was not going to get a mention for bowling or batting (did not bowl or bat = 5 f.q.) is actually bribing Dave Harrison to use his bat so that at least the name 'Gratson' will end up in the post match report somewhere. This week Gratson's bat scored a fine 67 before getting Dave Harrison out caught. A fine array of strokes again from our part-time, only-standing-in-for-90%-of-the-season, skipper. An opening stand from the two DH's saw us to 120 before Jon Hurley (12*) came in to see his dad home for another 50* and at 144 for 1 - a 9 wicket victory for the Twos. Second 50s in a row for Hurley and Harrison were rewarded with rounds at the bar, firstly from Dave 'I can't afford these jugs, I'm only a teacher' Hurley at Stewkley. Best we look for a part time summer job for Dave during his long teacher holiday so he can keep scoring the runs – not sure we can afford the alternative, team. Dave Harrison took the team to the Three-Locks pub outside Soulbury for his round. This prompted the query from James (driving) to Gratland (passenger and local boy): 'Where is the three locks pub then?'. Gratland's reply: 'By the canal'. Thanks Simon, I hadn't thought of that. You might have thought that daft comments like that were limited to Grats or young Jewson ('So what are locks for then?' when standing right by them, leaving poor old Ben '3 f.q.' Brown, two years his junior to explain)… but no – by far the daftest comment was from Harrison himself who was concerned when observing a slowly leaking lock gate that 'using the locks must take a very long time if they only fill that slowly'. When Dave Hurley realised our skipper wasn't joking, he pointed out quite kindly that if you open the top lock gate a bit further, it fills up faster, and the further you open the gate the faster it fills… It's an education being out with the 2nds. Apart from the canal smelling like a sewer and a chilly evening breeze, it was a good trip out for the lads and fine reward for our second win on the bounce.

All that is left are the fines. I am not qualified to adjudicate, I'm one of the few not in the over 35's club, but I can press the case for the prosecution:

• Dropping the ball having caught it already three times: John Hurley
• Worst attempt at getting near a catch: Iain James – just village.
• Worst attempt at diving for a catch: David Harrison (apparently you have to lift your feet off the ground to jump Dave, we saw you).
• The Jack Jewson award for Verbal Diarrhoea behind the Stumps: 1st place: Gareth Kingston. Runner up: Jack Jewson. Wooden Spoon: Ben Brown for not opening his gob all day long (apart from to stuff a couple of packets of scampi fries and a coke).
• Dodgy kit award: Brad Billson – the only man I have ever seen bowl in shin pads. (Oh and probably me for my non-club shirt – sorry, the washing machine was broken). Speaking of which – their number 11 was batting in a black shell-suit, something I haven't seen since 1988 when playing an U-11's school game - vintage.
• Not pulling his weight with the bowling effort: Garry Brown for only bowling 3 overs.
• Most unnecessarily pessimistic old gits at the half way stage: 1st equal: Ray Filip, Dave Hurley, Gareth Kingston.

Winning is a good habit to keep – good luck next week, there's a promotion run to keep going!

Stewkley CC Batting
142 for 9
Player name Runs
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

Olney Town Cricket Club Olney Town CC 2nd XI Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Iain James9.0131310.333.44
Ray Filip10.031025.001.00
Brad Bilson10.003600.003.60
Dave Harrison6.001700.002.83
Jon Hurley6.002438.004.00
Gary Brown3.0012112.004.00

Olney Town Cricket Club Olney Town CC 2nd XI Batting
144 for 1
Player Name RunsCatchesStumpingsRun outs
Dave Harrison Caught  67
Dave Hurley Not Out  50 1
Jon Hurley Not Out  12
Gary Brown  
Simon Gratland  
Jack Jewson   1
Ray Filip   2
Brad Bilson   2
Ben Brown   1
Iain James  
Gareth Kingston  

Stewkley CC Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
No records to display.