Scorecard

Ivinghoe & Pitstone v Olney Town Cricket Club Olney Town CC 2nd XI on Sat 01 Aug 2009 at 1:30pm
Match was Drawn Rain Stopped Play

Match report 'Poor Old Bernie'. I’m sad to report that finally, after having lost of his hair, he’s finally lost his marbles too... It started with the toss, which was the first thing he lost – fair enough it was a 50:50 chance but when asked to explain this he made the excuse that it was the length of the grass which affected the way the coin landed... Fine margins in the game of cricket.
All this meant that Olney were put into bat by a 3rd placed Ivinghoe & Pitstone hungry for a win. Things started badly with Jon Hurley (4) missing another straight one and Dave Hurley accumulating rather than blazing runs. Poor old Ben Cadigan departed early for 2 (LBW) – it wasn’t me this time – I was scoring because Bernie doesn’t let me umpire anymore after giving Chairman Dave out LBW earlier in the season... Ivinghoe and Pitstone were bowling and the pressure was mounting. Out strode Bernie... then back tramped Bernie, out for 1. I think he misinterpreted my comments last week. What I meant was that WE needed catching practice, NOT the opposition. Gary Brown (5) and Dave Hurley (33) put together a stand and the score creeped along, but eventually both fell – Dave Hurley, given out LBW by Bernie – bring a pen next week Bern, you’re scoring. Gratland (18), looking slightly less of a goose this week (see below), put together a good partnership with Baz (who seemed to have an argument between a crocodile and the medicine cabinet stuck in his ears...). After Gratland, Baz was joined by the rest of the lower order with young Chas 'Devon' Malcolm getting some treatment from the I&P bowlers – much to the distain of the I&P parents sitting on the sidelines – I had to restrain one lady from running on to carry little Devon off in her arms when he got hit. She nearly hit me when I suggested a bit of 'treatment' would make a man of him, but fair play – we do need to get the lad a thigh pad... Grats was more concerned about him rubbing his bruise in front of the oppo – don’t take that from him Chas – we know Grats would have blubbed, and you’ve got your first medal to show the girls – shorts all week for you lad, whatever the weather.
I’m also glad to report a first for this season – we actually saw James Hurley smile - I tell no lie. The cause for this rarest of events? - he outscored his big brother with 5. This left just me to join Baz for some rear guard action – as I walked out he said ‘Right Iain, we need to bat out the overs, but that said, don’t be surprised if I get cleaned bowled trying to smash it’... He ended up 32*, including a massive in-the-road-6. Olney 127 all out and consulting the 'Native American Guide to Inducing Rain through the Medium of Dance'...
It was a good tea with plenty of cake but it was very difficult to tell what on earth was in the sandwiches – you just couldn’t tell by eye – only by nose and taste. A surreal experience for one so frightened of egg sandwiches.
Olney took the field with Swingler (2-31) and James (2-25) to open. Fresh from his batting triumph, Baz donned the pads and gloves to keep wicket. We had to borrow pads and gloves from the oppo. Unfortunately they lent what looked like a pair of shin-pads on Bas and a pair of Teflon coated colanders for gloves, but I wouldn’t fancy keeping to an angry Brad in the wet and it was quite fun fielding at backstop The game was all about wickets and after I was smacked for six off a no-ball beamer (hopefully the first and last time I get hit for 7) we got things going, removing their opener before Jon Hurley pulled out catch of the season at backward point from a wild slash of a Brad ball outside off stump. Very fine work from JH – good job he made that contribution too, because he didn't get a bowl and didn't naff-all with the bat. His poor old Dad was left to lament in the bar later on how he too was a specialist backward point and that in his youth it was his position, but now he has to stand at mid off with the towel drying the ball. Staring into his drink, Dave realised that backward points were looking a lot younger these days.
I&P batsmen were beginning to struggle on 54-4 but made it to 70-4 and with the game tipping in their favour the heavens opened and playing through the drizzle became impossible as sheet rain ensured that jumpers doubled in weight – preventing free movement among some of our smaller team members. Whilst trying to get the covers on, their captain fell flat on his arse on the wet turf, removing any argument that it was safe to play on, and once over his concussion it was decided to call the game off and an honourable draw was achieved, much to the relief of the Olney team who could certainly use the points.
But I haven't finished with poor old Bernie yet, and I don't like to mock the afflicted but by far the most senile moment came when the tumble of I&P wickets prompted a mid-over change of umpire. The incoming umpire was unsure of the number of remaining balls, prompting reference to the scorers from bowler and new umpire. After two attempts of hollering through the drizzle to the boundary it was established that there were two balls left and Brad went back to his run up and came charging in. As he was in full stride, a bellow erupted from short extra cover, 'HOW MANY BALLS REMAINING?' cried Bernie, right in the middle of Brad's delivery stride… the timing was perfect, Brad was left suspended in mid air as the Olney team, the batsmen and the umpires turned to him in astonishment… Having established that it was not an escapee baboon from the nearby Whipsnade zoo (not enough hair) and it was in fact Bernie caught in a time warp – howls of laughter erupted – definitely winner of 'Goose of the Week' (inheriting the esteemed title from Gratland for batting with his sunglasses perched on the top of his cap last week and then going into the changing room and throwing a tizzie because he couldn't find his new sunnies…) But as I said, I don't like to mock the afflicted (in either case).
Glad to report also that there was none of the bad feeling that spilled over in our first fixture with I&P, Mr Brown was quite restrained this time and the match was played in good humour (mostly thanks to Bernie's comedic efforts). I&P are a young, enthusiastic side who appeal for everything. Their oldest payer is 23 so you can expect, and excuse, a bit of youthful exuberance. I've made a rough estimate to see whether our average age was 23… Here goes: Gallyot (59*), D Hurley (45*), Barrass (42*), Gratland (38*), James (33), Brown (28*), Swingler (22*), Cadigan (22*), Jo Hurley (16), Ja Hurley (14), Malcolm (14). *represents a guess, there's some real hard ones to pick, I think I might have underestimated Gallyot; Hurley Snr's age is difficult to tell - he's still fairly mobile (must be the Salsa dancing), and as for Baz – it's a shot in the dark – he might be much younger going on the earrings, but if that's the case it must have been a very tough paper round… Total age: 333 (+/- 10), average: 30.3 (+/- 0.9)… not even close. But then experience tells – their over rate was slow, their umpires were trying to slow down the bowlers to put us off our rhythms –not the best of strategies when you're chasing a crucial victory and the weatherman has suggested building an ark. Meanwhile Hurley Snr and James were making very sure that the ball was dry before running into bowl… As Bernie claims 'experience is everything, it's an old man's game'. Yes Bern, but there's probably a limit…

Olney Town Cricket Club Olney Town CC 2nd XI Batting
128 for 10
Player Name RunsCatchesStumpingsRun outs
Dave Hurley Lbw  33
Jon Hurley Caught  4 1
Ben Cadigan Lbw  2
Bernie Gallyot Caught  1
Gary Brown Caught  5
Simon Gratland Bowled  18
Richard Barrass Not Out  32
Chas Malcolm Bowled  4
Brad Swingler Bowled  1
James Hurley Caught  5
Iain James Bowled  4

Ivinghoe & Pitstone Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
No records to display.

Ivinghoe & Pitstone Batting
70 for 4
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Olney Town Cricket Club Olney Town CC 2nd XI Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Brad Swingler7.2231215.504.23
Iain James7.0125212.503.57